Happy Lundi Gras!
My hometown of New Orleans is in the midst of our biggest celebration, Mardi Gras. Tomorrow, “Fat Tuesday”, just so happens to be Mardi Gras day itself. Growing up Catholic, this meant that you had better have as much fun and eat as much king cake as you possibly can on Mardi Gras day because come Ash Wednesday… the good things in life were on hold because of Lent.
Surely this must be some sort of joke! After all, New Orleans is a city known for its food, seafood in particular, and during lent, it’s considered some sort of sin to eat meat on Fridays. Well the joke is obviously on the rest of the world! I mean, I certainly don’t want to eat a fried shrimp po boy in place of a turkey sandwich on a Friday…. said no one ever!
So, this had me thinking:
How often do we follow the rules just to say that we are following the rules? How many times do we allow religious thoughts, ideas, dogma, rule our lives so that we ‘feel’ as though we belong to something?
I ask this question so that you can really think on why you do what you do and believe what you believe?
One of the hardest parts of being myself, as a psychic medium, was the thought of me ‘going against’ my faith to be who I am. I struggled with this internally for years. I was always a rebel and on the defensive, so of course, I was totally up to the bible debate. I took on whomever wanted to take me on and fought tooth and nail over how the bible was antiquated, allowed men to treat women disrespectfully and allowed them to have slaves… and on and on and on…
Until one day while having this conversation I suddenly decided to just give up. I mean, why did i feel that there was such a need to prove to anyone that my profession was not the work of the devil? Why did I have to prove to anyone that my vocation was simply to bring light into a world of darkness? That this amazing ability that I had was MY CALLING in life!
In that moment of giving up I experienced the kind of cry that releases all of your emotions at once… an anger, sadness, crazy, snot dripping out of my nose kind of cry. I realized that the reason that I was fighting so hard was because I was so “heart hurt” that my “God” was judging me! I immediately understood that this held tight, close to my heart feeling, ultimately made me a hardened ass when it came to my faith and belief in anything related to organized religion.
And so began my better understanding of myself. You see, I am a very contemplative human. My mind doesn’t stop… ever. I rarely sleep, always in my head, thinking the deep thoughts.
If my God was the God of the Bible, always judging, deciding by my actions on this Earth whether I would suffer damnation or live in eternal bliss, then honestly, this is not my God. My God is not complex, my God is simple. My God is Love.. unconditional love of all energetic beings.
Bottom line: I was blaming everyone and anything for not supporting me on this often times difficult journey called, life, growth, enlightenment… Until this realization hit me: Everyone who challenged me is here for a reason. They are not supposed to be on my side, for if they were, I would have never truly felt the presence and love of My God, in My Life.
Feeling grateful for the ones who do not support me in life~ xoxo