Sensitive? Empath? Me?

A question from a fellow musing follower:

How do you cope with being so sensitive and an empath?

I actually laughed at this thought. Me? Sensitive? An empath!

My first response was immediate… I am not sensitive or an empath.

I struggled with this my whole life. Being sensitive and an empath completely went against my nature. I am rough and tumble. As a child, I was more a boy than a girl. I was an only child, free to be me, who excelled at fishing, water skiing, camping, and riding dirt bikes. I use swear words and power tools.

So when the words empath, sensitive, and compassionate fell into my scope of practice, I couldn’t swallow. The lump in my throat was huge. I have never considered myself any of those words, which seem pink, frilly, and full of white lace.

And there lay my deepest fear….

The fear of changing my thoughts… about myself.

You see, I can change. I can cut 12 inches off of my hair in one sitting and have no regrets; I have bought, sold, renovated, and moved 12 times in the last 20 years. But am I changing my inner thoughts about myself? Talk about difficult.

When we grow up with our own beliefs, they naturally come from the family we were raised in, whether we like them or not.

Going out into the world and cultivating your sense of oneness takes a lot of work.

I was determined to find myself on this journey. I did a lot of work. I joined a women’s group at my local catholic church… that didn’t work for me. I went on silent retreats, ugh! I sought out gurus in many different metaphysical fields and was taught their methods of energetic healing (which I thoroughly enjoyed until one day, while studying pranic healing, I diagnosed a woman with an illness of which only she and her daughter in the class knew, performed the energy healing on her which was taught to us and sent her straight to the ER!) Remember, I am tough and tumble. I socked it to her energetically. Thank goodness she was okay, but it did throw her and me both for a loop. This was a defining moment for me. It didn’t make me want to practice pranic healing; it made me want to run as fast as I could from this energy work and never do it again.

So you see, still saying that I am an empath or sensitive is difficult for me, but maybe it’s because I am afraid of what that means. I believe in the power of words, so by not admitting to it… well, it makes it less of a “thing’” for me to deal with.

They say that empaths feel or absorb other people’s emotions. I don’t want to do that on the daily. I don’t walk around all day feeling other people’s feelings, but if I look you in the eye… well, that’s another story.

So, to say that a psychic medium is an empath and sensitive, it just makes sense because I can feel into your energy field psychically and connect with your loved one via mediumship, so ok... I am a sensitive empath.

But here’s the thing, and I will repeat it. I don’t resonate with those words. Often, I forget what I do for a living. I do not go around all day on high alert, talking to Spirit and reading people’s minds. Could you imagine? That would be not very good.

However, when I am called to do my work in a session or a demonstration… it’s on!

My advice to anyone who feels as though they are on high alert as a sensitive or empath (which are both the same) is to decide whether this is working for you. I believe highly in the power of the mind. So I would ask you to ask yourself, “How is being on high alert serving you? If it is (which, again, I cannot imagine), then be who you are. If it is a struggle, you may consider turning it off. Give the universe your set of rules of engagement.

I can turn my sensitivities on and off at will. So can you, if you choose to. I know many mediums who live in this world constantly, and finding a parking spot is because of spirits or angels. I am not doubting them. I have to live my own life without interference from the other world. I don’t see the good that can come from spirit connection being used in a minimalistic way.

Spirit connection is POWERFUL.

So, turning it off is a must for me. In my baby's beginning stages of understanding mediumship, I remember posing this question to my then-teacher, Stella Upton: Picture this, if you will. Here I am in my first mediumship class, not understanding mediumship at all. All I knew was what Spirit told me. We are in a basement at The Journey Within, there’s a Christmas bazaar that weekend to make money for the church so we are surrounded with items like a Buddha statue next to a Jesus photo alongside crochet baby booties, you get it right. It was all so odd…

Anyway, here I am a super green medium wanting to ask my teacher a question about spirit communication. I gingerly raised my hand, waiting to be called on. “Yes, Nicole?” (in her perfect British accent) I then responded something like this, “So, when I go to sleep at night, I find it hard to get Spirit out of my head and cannot find much rest, then when I wake up, they are still there, always talking in my head that most times I feel a bit crazy. What do I do?”. In the most stern British accent ever to touch my ears, she yells, “Tell them to sod off!” I. Was. Mortified!

Laughing now that I recount that experience was one of the most important lessons of my mediumship development. I have learned to control my experiences and turn my connection off and on, and it has been a life and sanity saver for me. Trust me, you can do the same. It quite simply is about speaking to the other side as you would someone here, if they are in your space, give them rules of engagement. That’s it! It has worked wonders for me.

Wishing you a wonderful week ahead,

Much Love,

Nicole