2017

Jenn drove over 200 miles to sit with me.

Evidence, evidence, evidence… of her daughter in Spirit.

Excitement, joy, laughter…Steph’s personality was infectious.

Graduated valedictorian, yet she made a bad choice in choosing who to love.

Jenn was grateful, excited, hopeful when she shouted, “Yes, She’s still there! She’s waiting for me!”

The energy shifted.

Steph continued with her evidence, and without any thought the words poured out of my mouth. Lonely, isolating herself, attempting to take her own life, purple pillows on her bed, she has new clothes still in bags in her closet, dad just got a new truck, my youngest brother graduated from college, my sister is expecting a new baby….

Her mouth dropped and she began to sob.

Jenn had been considering ending her life. Everyone was moving on without thought to the pain that Jenn was feeling, leaving Steph behind…. She decided that she just couldn’t be happy, she couldn’t live without Steph.

2020

A thick letter arrived for me in the mail at my office.

When does that ever happen, right? I’d forgotten what that felt like until that moment.

It was a letter from Jenn.

She described how she drove home that day and listened to the recording over and over and over.

She didn’t want to believe any of it. It was all made up. Somehow I found out all of this information about her and just recited it.

She was trying to find the evidence that I lied to her.

She couldn’t. She searched the internet to see what was out there about Steph. Nothing. She couldn’t debunk me.

“….. then it hit me unexpectedly. Like, my mind just switched and I’ve never been back to the old way of thinking. I needed time to process. I began to see those around me the way that Steph described them, with Joy, Laughter and Excitement. Because I made that choice, I began to enjoy life again. It just crept up on me!! I could deny no longer that Steph was ok. She was in a good place. A place of love and light and I no longer needed to fear that she wasn’t. She was watching over us, experiencing herself through us, our joy and laughter. Nicole, she walks alongside me. I just know it!”

This season, this time of year especially, may you feel the innocence of your loved one in spirit, may you feel their joy and laughter.

May you experience the love that can be felt when you BELIEVE that the impossible is indeed, possible.

May you then take a step further and spread that joy, laughter, excitement, LOVE, to all that you encounter, as you envision your loved one walking alongside you, enjoying every moment.

Nicole

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